الضغط يولد الحمار

 

* فقط فى كلية الطب، يتحول هرم مازلو إلى مسلة.

* ألهمك الله الصبر يا أمى، لقد فشلت فى إسعادك على المستويان الإجتماعى والأكاديمى. ربنا يقدرنى وأجيبلك حتة عيل تفرحى بيه....هأوأو.

* الكاتب مصاب بمتلازمة التلمذة المزمنة، التى لا يتم تشخيصها إلا بعد أن يقضى الإنسان أكثر من أربعة سنين بالكلية بدون رسوب وبدون تخرج.

* تتميز المراحل الحرجة فى هذه المتلازمة بجاذبية شديدة للبرامج التافهة فى التلفزيون، والمتابعة المستمرة للفيسبوك كل 7 دقائق، والسلس الفكرى.

* المراد من المسلة هو الخازوق. إحتياطى لو ماحدش فهمها من أول مرة.

* الخازوق ده حاجة وحشة على فكرة. بردو لو لسا ماحدش كان فاهم.

* ويوصف السلس الفكرى بالإنتقال العشوائى من فكرة إلى أخرى وعدم القدرة على تقبل أى معلومات قديمة أو جديدة.

* ما هى آخر فكرة تطرأ فى رأس الخروف قبل ذبحه؟

* محمد إمام يسير على نفس الطريق الذى رصده أبوه منذ دهور. من شابه أباه.. يخلق مالشبه أربعين.

* أنصح كل الأطفال الصغار بأن يحلموا أن يكونوا متخرجين عندما يكبروا.

عزيزى المواطن، إذا لم يعجبك ما قرأت أنصحك بتناول بعض الكحك.

 

My checklist

Wife-to-be checklist:

1- Flowing hair.
2- Sparkling eyes.
3- Laughs at my jokes.
4- Inspires me to be the man I want to be.
5- A good muslim.
6- A great mother.
7- Comes with an explosive sensation of excitement whenever I make her happy, or vice versa.
8- Great ass.

The silver lining...

OK, it's been quite a night. 11 men went into the field to execute an objective and they have. With peristence. With will power. They did it. However, looming over victory is the sadness most of the educated Egyptians are projecting because of the behaviour of their fellow citizens before and after the match.

The harmonius tone is "If this effort was put to make Egypt a better place, Americans would apply for immigration". There are of course true causes to this tone, like our stance towards Algeria. How we shed over them a certain shade that nearly put them next to Israel in our books. How we allowed ourselves as a country to fall into the trap of a war of words that would drag both countries into the mud. And of course, the ongoing after-game party blocking everywhere.

This tone as I mentioned also goes towards the efforts of the Egyptians in celebrating their team. I know, we overdid it with the flags and the celebrating. But, there is a silver lining. We are not dead. No sir, not dead.

They are alive and united, all they need is a direction.

We are alive, we are capable of uniting in support of our country in its hour of need. We are capable of adopting a national project and standing by it. Giving it as much support and awareness as it needs. So much so that Coca-Cola made such a great commercial advertising the event, you would have missed the brand if you were not concentrating. Did you guys hear the prayers when we played the corners?

Right there in that stadium and in thousands of houses all over the country, we jumped, we sighed and some nearly cried (see what I did there?) at the same time. Every hand, foot and ball had 80 million pairs of eyes fixed on it like lasers.

We have all synced to the same frequency. This means we are one step closer from making this country a better place.

The smart step here is not to reproach people for being over-sympathetic to the cause, it's to make them sympathetic to a bigger cause. People were not just cheering for Trika or Zaki. They were there because they wanted their country to be in the World Cup.

Sidenote: Yes, it is important for the country to be in the World Cup. It's a cash cow, and it's a sign of culture. It denotes that this country has interest in football. I would rather Egypt have interest in football than Melody and Mazzika.

We now have an important piece of information, this country is alive and beating. And this country is missing a cause. A simple cause, not something complicated. Nobody cares about who is the next president. That is the truth. I care because I am cursed with news popping in front of me and having a brain that responds to that crap. But the majority don't. The majority care however about being employed, we can help each other with that. They care about having better education for their kids, that be helped as well. If you sit with yourself, you'll get a ton of ideas.

To conclude, let's see beyond the "negatives" and squeeze the "positives" out.

فاكسسسس

i've found out the origin of"فاكس"!!!!!!! my dear friend told me in the midst of a lecture ,"what is it" i asked barely hiding my enthusiasm ,he shows me a paper on which he's written "fakes" and just looks at me. so i guess he meant that it came from fake "yeah i'm pretty smart" but have you ever noticed that though we're living in the days and age of "information" yet no one comes out and tells you anything you have to endure through the motions of firstly pretending to be interested in whatever he tells you he's found out then beg him to tell you the details now i dont wanna imagine what a cave man had to go through to find out anything ,i reckon it was a blessing that their interests were limited to their basic needs :D.
another thing my friend did strike a good point"he seriously is a smart guy :D" at what point did all egyptian slang become a derivative of western particularly american slang nowadays you cant tell someone lets drive around you have to tell him "يللا نكروز " or "يللا نسكور" لو انت صاحب مزاج and others that i just cant recollect, while i'm not oblivious to the fact that i'm blogging about this in freakin english so maybe i'm not practicing what i preach but i'm new to this blogging thing and thought this would be a good thing to share with whoever is reading this "probably just me at this point" lets just give it a try and enjoy our mother language.
peace out

p.s to my friend who be now probably knows himself hope you weren't offended .